now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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