I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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