Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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