She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
