I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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