we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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