I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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