kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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