the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Say something about gay babies.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
