Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
