he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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