Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm too high and old for this...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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