I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
