Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Randomize
