I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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