the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
