His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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