i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize