i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
