I wish I could punch you in the face.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
