See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
