i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
