Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
