lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
