those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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