You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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