How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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