i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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