So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
