if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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