I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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