It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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