New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
