she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
