____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
