i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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