her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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