Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
