Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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