I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
In America we eat man semen.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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