Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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