this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize