You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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