How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
