guys are not supposed to queef...right?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize