listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
