i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she told me i tasted like america
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
