Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
