There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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