I cannot find my penis.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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