So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
