Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
