Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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