My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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