Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
