yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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